On Sleep

Very few topics incite debate as much as the topic of sleep does when it comes to babies. We can safely say that there are two camps with a spectrum of methodologies, soothers, ten step plans, and ancient techniques between them. On one side we have cosleepers (attachment parenting) and on the other we have CIO (cry it out). Let me tell you upfront that I lean on the side of cosleeping. Most of my parenting has been attachment style, naturally and instinctively, the books just solidified my gut feelings. So why is it that tonight I rocked the boat? I picked up a certain sleep training book that someone lent me and that they wanted back. I made the mistake of thumbing through it.It sounded easy enough.
STEP ONE: Say goodnight and walk out of the room.
The next hour was filled with terrible yells and cries.
Nico kept berreling out of the room. As prescribed, I kept walking him back in, only to be tackled at my ankles by my terrified boy. On his last attempt he ran out of his room with Mickey in one hand and his Lion in the other, his face soaked, pleading, "No mama, please no bye!" And that was it for me. That was my weak spot.
I'm posting this tonight from the big hippy futon. He keeps popping his head up every 20 minutes or so looking for me, his trust in me is bruised for now. I'm writing this to remind myself that this is what I signed up for. I chose a harder less travelled path. I can't be swayed by stories of parents with a nightlife. I can't let a cultural norm put pressure on me to conform. I have to choose what is best for my family and to figure out which way we all get the most amount of z's.
I also have to remember that the day will come when Nico won't want to even stand in my bedroom. So tonight I'll snuggle a little bit tighter with him and get reattached. Good Night mamas, Good Night.



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